A Stand-still

I can't help but be scared about this part of my life.

I am at a stand still. I don't know what to do, I'm trying not to think about the difficulties in my life, like work, trying to make money and pursue my dreams of traveling. I see my option to travel and I'm scared. I have to work on my TEFL certificate but every time I sit down to do it, I would rather be observing the dust in the air or the massive gap between my toes. :/.

Tomorrow is my only day off this week and I really want to go to the library and get stuff done. And go to the gym too.

Speaking of the gym, I have a total creeper lurking throughout.

BSC members beware! If you see a bald headed man that wears white tank tops and red shorts he's probably a major cruiser. 2 years ago this guy would stare at me in the locker room and grab himself.

This has been the first time I've seen him since and he's wearing the same outfit as before cruising the weights and locker room too. I see him looking at me. This time he was walking around the locker room naked, standing in my way and staring at me. I left the locker room after having to go to the bathroom, continued my workout for an extra 15 minutes, only to find him still creeping the bathrooms. It's unfortunate.

In other news, I find myself being a total Debbie D, and I would like to thank my good friends Jay, Mark, Cat and Esther right now for being great inspirations in my life. I don't know why, but there have been times where I'm ready to grind someones face into the walls at work for NO reason. I am taking this time to recognize this feeling and do something about it. I think I have a lot of stored up energy and anger that hasn't been released so I think gym time is crucial.

I'm currently reading the book The China Study. I find it absolutely amazing and it a book I recommend to anyone who wants to change their lives and perhaps may need a little push into a different direction. Everything this book discusses has been in my head for a very long time. For example, I always thought food had something to do with emotional/physical health, yes, I'm sure you'd say DUH no crap, but like, to be able to prevent certain cancers and to improve our bodies in unimaginable ways; improvement of eyesight as well helping us to keep our minds focused. Just interesting.

So yes. that's all I have to really say at the moment. I apologize for people who do follow me that I haven't posted in a while.